Dream Small
As 2020 starts to come to a close, I have spent some time reflecting on exactly what all has happened this year. Aside from all the obvious unfortunate events that have and are continuing to occur, a lot has happened for me interiorly this year. I have realized things about myself that I never knew before and discovered other facets of life that I want to pursue. This year has been difficult, but it’s been an incredible year of growth.
This past spring spent in quarantine was very difficult for me because I couldn’t really do anything other than go to class over zoom and go on daily walks with my mom. I’m sure many can relate. I have always been the type of person to pursue big dreams. I always have an idea of the next “thing” I want to do. But over quarantine, it wasn’t an option to pursue big dreams, all we could do is just live an ordinary life and try to make the best of it. This time allowed me to think about the reason why I have this ambition to achieve big things and I realized that it stems from feeling the need to impress everyone else. I noticed that I was finding my worth in other people's perceptions of me and the only way I felt that I was seen was by impressing others.
This realization led to many months of soul searching where I tried to figure out who I was and who I was made to be outside of my “accomplishments”. I was led to the discovery of humility and living in the fullness of truth. Gordon Hinkley says that “being humble means recognizing that we are not on earth to see how important we can become, but to see how much of a difference we can make in the lives of others.” The idea that my purpose wasn’t found in other people's perceptions of me was the most freeing feeling. I don’t have to impress anyone, I only have to be myself and give of my heart freely to those I encounter. This change in mindset was and still is easier said than done. It is hard going from living a life so consumed with success and the way the world perceives you to a life unafraid to live simply by giving and being authentically yourself. But in the end, I believe there is no better way to live than to live humbly.
Good Company is a ministry at the University of Kansas. We seek to bring authentic connection in a world of AirPods.