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When I was seven years old, I began my first year on the competitive dance team at a studio located near my house. Now those of you reading this may not know much about competitive dance; let me tell you, it is like working more than a part time job! For the next 11 years I spent about 25-30 hours at the studio every week, perfecting routines for competition and my technique only so I could go on stage, compeat a number I could do in my sleep, and have another judge tell me what I could do better. While this kept me busy and out of trouble (mostly), the more time I spent at the studio the more I wondered if it was worth it. When I graduated high school, I wanted nothing more than to just live my life by my own rules, but I quickly realized I did not know who I was outside the studio. I had gone without silence in my head for so many formative years of my life that I did not know who I really was, who my friends were, and what I enjoyed outside of dance.
I did what most other high school seniors do and applied for college. I knew I did not want to go far from home so of course I applied to KU (Rock Chalk) and decided to come here to become a pre-med student. It was not but my third day of classes my freshman year living in the dorm with my three other roommates when I realized I was bored because I did not know what to do with the abundance of silence in my daily life now. I no longer had any family or dance instructors to constantly bother or tell me what to do. This was foreign territory to me.
For the first time in my life, I had the power to decide whether I wanted to be busy from the moment I woke up until the time I went to bed or be a couch potato and do absolutely nothing. I decided to create a balance and lean into the silence present in my life and get to know who I am as a person: my values, goals, and passions as well as the people I wanted to grow to share those things with. I realized that silence can be a beneficial thing in our lives if we orient it to allow us to learn more about ourselves or the world around us. It allows us to be more aware of how we feel on the inside and reflect on things happening in our lives. Now as a sophomore in college, almost two years later, I purposely take about 30 minutes out of my day to just be silent with myself.
Many of you may be thinking I do not want to be stuck in my own head for that long! Trust me I have been there and it can be tough at first but silence is a muscle you have to exercise every day and eventually you become better at it and sometimes even begin to need it in your everyday life. If you start out small, even 1 minute, just to calm your thoughts and focus on what you feel on the inside can make such a difference over a long period of time. Silence is the true key to peace so I invite you to join me in turning off your phone, taking out your Airpods and just being silent to hear your thoughts even if its just for a minute. Who knows maybe you will realize something about yourself that you can’t when all the noise of the world is turned up around you.
Good Company is a ministry at the University of Kansas. We seek to bring authentic connection in a world of AirPods.
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