Just a little messy

When you think of your life, who are the people that make you want to be a better person? For me, these people are my friends, the people that see me, know me, and love me for who I am. I think a quote that depicts this well is from Mother Teresa. “Don’t expect your friend to be a perfect person but help your friend to be a perfect person. That’s true friendship!”

I believe what Mother Teresa was talking about here is do not buy into the lie that we can do it on our own. We were made to grow alongside other people because unfortunately we were not made to be self-sufficient beings. We require our friends to push us to grow and become better versions of ourselves.

Friendship can be scary because it requires letting someone into the messiness of your life. The fear of trying to form friendships stems from the risk that they could reject you, however, the messy parts of your life are nothing to be ashamed of because when you take your eyes off your own life and look around, it is clear that everyone else also has parts of their lives that are messy. We do not have to be alone in our mess; we get to have friends! This helps us realize taking the risk of letting someone in is worth it.

Something my dad always told me growing up is our friends know us better than we know ourselves. I have come to know that he was spot on because they can see things about our nature as people that we cannot see ourselves. They are only able to see these details when they are permitted to enter into our mess. Emily Wilson says in her book Go Bravely that “Friendship is the gradual revelation of one’s heart to another person.” This is also what Mother Teresa was talking about because when we grow to know the heart of a friend, we begin to understand their identity. We can help them realize different aspects of their humanity so they may become a more self aware version of themselves.

I find myself believing the lie that tells me I have to impress people by acting or looking a certain way, having my life together, or being perfect to be loved and accepted. The truth is that I have realized that we do not have to be perfect, we just have to try. As long as we do not give up on friendship, we will continue to grow and become the people we were meant to be.

Caring for a friend sometimes means putting their needs before our own but it is through friendship that we learn what a joy it is to not go through life alone and makes friendship just a little less scary. Life is hard and I think we all need people to be there to help us get back up when we fall down, to learn and grow with, and to laugh with us through it all. We become more fully alive in who we are meant to be when we let people see us for who we truly are because each one of us is just trying to figure it out, too.

Good Company is a ministry at the University of Kansas. We seek to bring authentic connection in a world of AirPods. 

Connect with Us
Instagram | Facebook